I loved this book!

Do you have influence? In your

marriage, are you aware of how influence is at work? How do you exert influence? How

does your spouse influence you? The answer is, we influence our spouse through conversation, or the lack thereof. The Conversation Impact helps husbands and wives learn how to talk more freely and caringly in their marriage. And, by so doing we learn how to use conversation as an ever-present tool to become better lovers. 

SECURE

You effectively communicate your needs and true love to your partner and are also strong at reading your partner's emotional cues and responding caringly in your marriage. 

ANXIOUS

You tend to be very sensitive to small fluctuations in your partner's mods and actions, and although your senses are often accurate, you take your partner's behaviors overly personally. 

AVOIDANT

You tend not to open up to your partners, and they often complain that you are emotionally distant. In relationships, you are often on high alert for any signs of control or impingement on your territory by your partner.

AMBIVALENT

You tend to feel intense emotions such as rejection, abandonment or anger because your partner does not live up to preconceived notions of how you think they should behave. At times you are very agreeable and at other times very hard to please.

Degrees of Health and Hopefulness in Marriage

EMPOWERING: You are doing things in your marriage which are likely to result in an increasing level of engagement and unity. 

SUSTAINING: You are doing things in your marriage which are sufficient to maintain a middling level of engagement and unity.

DISMANTLING: You are doing things in your marriage which are likely to result in a decreasing level of engagement and unity. 

• You love to be very close to your romantic partners and have the capacity for great intimacy. 
• You often fear, however, that your partner does not wish to be as close as you would like your partner to be. 
• Relationships tend to consume a large part of your emotional energy.

•  You  feel uncomfortable with too much closeness and tend to keep your partner at arm's length.   
• You tend not to open up to your partners, and they often complain that you are emotionally distant. 
• In relationships, you are often on high alert for any signs of control or impingement on your territory by your partner.

•   You take things in stride when it comes to romance and don't get easily upset over relationship matters.
• You effectively communicate your needs and feelings to your partner and are also strong at reading your partner's emotional cues and responding to them. 
• You share your successes and problems with your partner and are able to be there for your partner in times of need.